Oops, more to say

Last night I fell asleep before I could hear "Dark the Night" by the
Crossing. You have not heard beautiful if you've not heard this. If
only my neighbors could play THAT, too. I just wish they'd play the
Russian song again. I have always associated it with a dance I did to
it at home one time, but suddenly this year I found myself listening to
the words and the music and the song just brought tears to my eyes, it
is so beautiful. I love to listen to it in the dead of night (we play
music to sleep by) when the space heater's off and I'm awake all alone
in a cozy bed and my thoughts wander.

Music changes associations with times. I don't think I'll remember
China per se with some of these Christmas-y selections, but I know I've
found secret places to visit with the accompanying music. I can picture
them without the music, but when I actually hear the music I am
practically transported there. For five seconds I can feel snow
crunching under my feet and see a quiet but beautiful and almost happy
graveyard from a Christmas movie (only it wasn't happy or peaceful in
the movie) while a bell sequence is going, and for three minutes I can
be in some nameless country in the dead of night, the sky clouded over,
except for a small cloud break out of which shines a star. Against the
sky is a steely tower with a flag waving in the wind, and a camel is
being prepared with finest metals, incense, and resins.

Or, for a few minutes my association ties still run deep, as I am
untangling lights and garlands and such in Grandma's living room. Ahhh,
much as I like it here, I know that once I can do that again my cup
will be brimful.

But it brims full here, in different ways. The joy of standing on a
high plateau among mountains with a tiny landing strip and a small
building with two waiting halls, standing in one, nose pressed against
the glass, watching the flow of heads for the two lao wai looking
utterly tired and lost but happy to be here at last. Or, if, this year,
I can't have that joy, I will have the joy of hearing my family's voice
in the hall, and see the sun-drenched, browning hills receive a new
regard in my eyes as I show them the wonders of my home.

Christmas is a time of joy, and a time of peace, and a time of love.
Every year it seems more wonderful (except, of course, occasionally a
"fallout" year).